By Dick Straughan
June 14 2007

After weeks of lying low from the prying eyes of the Men from the Revenue, the Press Gang met at a secret location near the Mennaye Field on Wednesday to discuss their coming campaign of fun, laughter, friendship and ale in the name of the Cornish Pirates.

At a given signal a small boy was dispatched to round up the crew and a hearty number of seasoned Pirates duly gathered behind slightly ajar doors.

Assembled before the Great Bard and Cap`n Tony were such respected names as Admiral Marshy, the Stig-like Dotcom, John Murrish - the hero of many a nautical campaign, the man they call Swampy, and a delegation of the feared and revered Zelah Maids.

Cap`n Tony called the meeting to order. He assured the crew that there was enough loot in the chest to finance another campaign. The Pirates cheered. He stated that the Camborne Wreck had been scuttled at a secret location. The Pirates cheered again. Then he explained that the SS First, veteran of the Battle of Coventry (AD 2007), was in dry dock having her bottom scrubbed. The Pirates broke into rapturous applause.

The Great Bard then took the helm to discuss a Constitution of Piracy. With Mr Murrish, the Master-at-Arms, and Bosun Dale ably assisting progress through the agenda and the ensuing discussions were swift, relevant and democratic.

The Great Bard was elevated by the worshipful crew to the status of Chairman whilst the trusty Cap`n Tony was left in charge of the loot. Carole Bryant, a noble lady Pirate, was appointed to the vital role of Secretary. Her skills in keeping the men-folk in check will be vital to the success of this ship`s company.

It was agreed that for the princely sum of five dubloons any Pirate may join the Press Gang. Betrayal of the creed is punishable by being marooned within sight of the feared Sandy Park mirage.

As the meeting progressed Admiral Marshy retired to consider a cache of gin recently acquired from a Spanish merchantman bound for the bonded warehouse of Penwithian Wholesalers. He concluded that diet tonic would spoil the taste.

Pirate Becky, the Zelah Warriors very own Senior Interrogator, sat quietly ruminating on her glass of wine. Having acheived notoriety last season for smelling a man with a criminal record at a hundred paces, she chose to remain tight-lipped on future plans to demonstrate the dark art of shamanism.

The Great Bard announced that he and his good lady were to set sail imminently to forge links with Irish Pirates.  Dotcom puffed lazily on a cheroot contemplating domination of the global internet. Cap`n Tony decided that he still has time to birdie the 17th at Cape Cornwall before the season begins again.

As the Press Gang headed for home boasting membership of nigh on 100 hearty souls the only question remaining was, how many ships will we send to Lanson?