By BrianC
December 4 2003

Lonnie Reece has always been a fickle pupil. Occasional flashes of genius are put into perspective by prolonged periods of mediocre performance. Here Professor Campbell presents his mid-term report.

Reading Incomprehensible School - Mid-term Report

Name: Lonnie Reece
Age: 105
House: Green

Games: 8/12 - V. Good.

Last term I felt very let down by Lonnie in his general approach to and handling of games. So often would he appear to have the situation under control only to let things slip from his hands in the last minute. In total last term Len only managed 8 from 22 hence this seasons school trip to France being downgraded by the governors. Despite many doubts being expressed in the staff room before the start of term Lonnie has surpassed that which most of the masters, including many of those in his own house, thought he was capable of. The Sharks and Saints field trips were particularly notable as was the lessons given both home and away to the Gloucester Agricultural College. The later of the games against Gloucester was relayed to screens throughout the county by our media studies department. Many of those who saw it felt it was our best game since the schools cup final two years ago. 

Given such a great improvement over last term it would seem churlish to criticise however the Wycombe field trip was a particular disappointment. With the game at his mercy Lonnie let himself down, largely through his indiscipline.

Conduct: 5 Yellows, 0 Red - V. Good.

Whilst the number of yellow cards may initially appear high Lonnie's conduct is generally better than that of his fellow pupils. That said he has been known to let himself down in this regard. What particularly concerned this house master earlier in the season was the Wycombe field studies trip. It is well known that Wasps are difficult creatures to contain but Lonnie after a difficult start appeared to have them well in hand until petulance set in.

Let me say at this stage that it is not easy for us house masters when asked to officiate on such occasions, we do get things wrong. I also appreciate that Mr. Goodliffe had some problems with his spectacles on that day and may have had a particularly off afternoon. Having said that it is simply counter productive to start calling the master names or to start breaking the rules just because you think others have got away with it. Sooner or later you will be punished, as Lonnie was. He seems to have learnt his lesson since then, let's hope he manages to keep this in mind.

On the positive side the recent restraint he showed against the visiting Lancashire boys college despite extreme provocation earned him extra merit points.

Cookery: 3/10 - Poor but showing some signs of improvement.

In his earlier days, before the school had to move to accommodate the growth in pupils, Lonnie showed great promise in this regard. Some of my colleagues still remember his Irish coffees, crepes and pork rolls fondly. Since the school relocation Lonnie seems to have lost all interest in this subject. Perhaps the fact that he no longer has the whole kitchen to himself and has had to work under a couple of different head chefs is a contributory factor. Recent reports are mixed but some indicate that Lonnie may have improved a tad in this regard recently. We expect Lonnie to do better and look for improvement in the next half term.

Economics: 6/10 - Average

This has never been one of Lonnie's stronger subjects. Indeed the mark 'average' is an improvement over earlier terms. Whilst I cannot make any firm judgement until the accounts are all tallied at the end of term things do look encouraging. Lonnie has overseen a new range of products into the school shop, these appear to have sold well.

At the start of term  he decided to charge more for admission to school sports days. Whilst the numbers attending these days has dropped slightly I am confident that overall revenue will increase. His spending this year has been pretty frugal, thus far it doesn't appear to have affected overall performance. I am cautiously optimistic that he will be able to balance the books at the end of term.

Music: 10/10 - Excellent

Lonnie has long excelled in this subject,  thus far this term has been no exception. The East wing percussion section continues to go from strength even adding triangles to the now legendary drums. The popular beat combo, Le Cheile, appear to have a few new faces this term but their music has certainly not suffered. From amongst his fellow pupils a version of Barcelona appears to be gaining popularity and another musical initiative, the strangled ferrets or some such name is getting off the ground.

In Summary

All things told a very encouraging first half of this term. If Lonnie continues to apply himself there is no reason we should not be able to upgrade next terms field trip again. Indeed he may well be in the reckoning come school prize day, I have high hopes.