By Dick Straughan
April 13 2007

Pirate Bert, fresh from his highly secretive mission to the Admiral Benbow Inn - powerbase of the Press Gang, has told this website of a mystical experience whilst on the premises. Whilst sitting before the throne of Admiral Marshy and receiving instruction in the dark arts of piracy, the heir apparent to the leadership of the Press Gang (Midlands Section) admitted that they had received a visitation.

Explained Pirate Bert, "Marshy had been expecting the police, but the demure woman who stepped across the threshold of his Inn was no copper." He continued, " She looked like a nice lady out walking her dogs but when Marshy stopped talking and I saw that his jaw had dropped I knew something was up."

The unexpected visitor was no other than the infamous Mother McAtee and her Hell Hounds. Marshy explained, "Her wee boy has special boots. He`s a bit of a magician too. She told us that we would have a good day and win and then she was gone."

Pirate Bert was amazed by the experience. "You wouldn`t have expected that", he said. "I mean, all that blue smoke and dry ice. Its not what you get from an ordinary dog walker popping in for a swift half."

Since then strange things have been happening to the disciple of Piratehood. Things that Bert cannot explain. "Passing the EDF offices the next day on the way to Brickfields seemed a bit odd. Then I saw the Pirates Club Class bus on my way back to the middles shires of England. I started to feel uneasy. " He continued, "The incidents then just rolled into one. I saw a Pirate bookshop in Kings Cross, a Pirate download of a favourite song was suddenly available, Sandstorm played in Fun with Dick & Jane, and then Julia Sawalha admitted that she had been Press-Ganged as a teenager. It was just too much."

Pirate Bert has retreated to his Midlands enclave to seek solace from his mentor as he prepares to lead the southbound incursion on Twickenham. "If I see an Osprey at Twickenham on Sunday, then its in the bag" he added.

The Fleet will still leave at three bells.

Just as the Barn Club shuts up shop.