By Old Kwin
April 14 2003

In a shock result result last night Harlequins Internal Recreation Board (IRB) voted by an overwhelming 18 votes to 3 to award the contract to host the 2027 Harlequin Supporters Gala to a coalition of various Supporters Clubs led by the Continuity Quinssa.

In taking this decision the Board preferred tradition over innovation, rejecting a number of  imaginative alternative proposals tabled by rival Supporters organisations including Real Quinssa, the Quins Loyalists, and the Harlequin Fans Forum.   A spokesman from the HFF last night said the we "naturally very disappointed, but we wish CQ every success in 2027. Splitters"

The result astonished outside observers who had widely tipped a ground-breaking bid from Real Quinssa as the likely winners: The RQ bid had featured a controversial two tier Gala with a main black-tie show-piece event in the East Stand for Corporates, Debenture Holders, Gold Season Ticket holders and their families, concurrently with a cheaper second-tier event in the Rosebine Car Park, aimed at Diamond Piranhas, Joker Season Ticket holders and members of the HFF.

Significantly, the Two-Tier Gala was projected to raise in excess of €1m for the club which had made it the hot favourite over the last few weeks. In recent days, however, speculation had mounted that the profits were widely overestimated and, with rumours circulating and confidence dropping, a frenzy of back-door deals cemented the rival bid from the so-called Rainbow Coalition, led by Continuity Quinssa, a splinter club that broke away in 2013 following the so-called 'scuffle of the leaflets'.

Initially the CQ bid had been dismissed as nothing to write home about with its standard, traditional dinner-dance format, precisely the same as the eleven previous Galas, right down the inclusion of the ever-green Melody Fakers with their familiar medley of hits from yesteryear.    However despite their lack of any eye-catching ideas,  CQ stole an advantage over their rivals by constructing a series of clever alliances granting slices of the action to  to rival organisations in return for their support. 

It was in this way that the unprecedented Rainbow Coalition came into being - winning the support of various smaller, splinter or extremist organisations including Quins-Fans-United,  Al-Qu'inda,  the Ex-LI Fans of Quins, and eventually even the famously isolationist Multi-Coloured Army.   All of these were lured with offers of concessions including hot-dog stands, the Invitation Printing franchise and for the MCA, even their own Pool for  the first part of the event. 

This proved enough not only to persuade all these notoriously prickly organisations to join the coalition, but even for them to co-operate with established mainstream supporters' organisations including Real Quinssa, the Quins Massive, and even old-dependable, Quinnsa  itself (who are understood to have been lured by the lucrative and much coveted coach parking franchise). 

In what was evidently  a meticulously planned operation, it now seems that representatives forming the 'inner circle' of these organisations had met in the Cabbage Patch as far back as 11 months ago to agree the division of the spoils in what is now known as the 22 May Discussions. 

Last night, sources close to the Harlequins management expressed hope that awarding of prestigious Gala contract to a coalition would provide an incentive for the many different Harlequins Supporters' Organisations to come together, co-operate and perhaps even eventually merge, a  call which was heeded  by many of them - last week there were nine separate press conferences pledge themselves to unity.

In a separate meeting in Rome, the 2027 Rugby World Cup was awarded to the United States, with three Quarter-Finals and and the Final to be played in the Ukraine.