By Dizzybird
May 15 2003

Awoke Saturday 10th May to bright sunshine and Dizzy rushing for the sunscreen. Unsure where I’m sitting as my chum bought the tickets but do not want to ‘burn’. My strict instructions to Stu were “I must be behind the goal posts!” “Are you sure?” says he. “Absolutely!” says I.

The man thinks I’m demented but there is method in my madness. Honest guv!

I sort myself out, nobody else would dare. Purse…check, pen…check, map…check, face cream (ok, ok I am a woman after all)…check, phone…yes phone…check, last train times…check, pub route to ground…check, pub route from ground…check, list of hostelries and shuttle bus info (courtesy of Prof’s mates in HW)…check, taxi…check. Taxi!!!! Yikes! Time to go!

One Dizzybird scoops up belongings, throws everything plus the kitchen sink into bag and shots off. Adams Park here I come!!!!!

After last year spending two hours trying to get out of Adams Park I decided that the train would take the strain. Alighting from my chariot at the station, I just have time to purchase a ticket and note I get a special deal. Oooh! I love a bargain A whole day return from Banbury to High Wycombe for a tenner. Wow! A quick glance around and no other Quins’ supporters but being in hostile territory (Tigers and Saints country) I’m not really surprised.

An even bigger chariot arrives and I am impressed. Train on time and not having to complete the journey by bus as National Rail Engineers appear to be working today. That should save my taxes by them not being paid overtime. Yippee!!! I plonk myself down on the only available seat opposite the ‘Lemon Tart’ and her mate ‘Toby Jug’. Duly noted is the fact they too were not going to the match. It was the lisle stockings and stilettos that gave them away. I get the quick once over and ignored for the rest of my journey. Hmmm! Do they know Zara Phillips paid a fortune for a patchwork coat and I get a bargain at £45.00 for my chic little number? They would not be receiving my exclusive boutique’s address for sure. ‘Le Stoop’ will remain my little secret for now. Dan the Man can now get his in Perpignan..

What is that I am reading in the Times belonging to the ‘Lemon Tart’? Quins have no chance! Ha! Do not write us off yet man from the media…our time will come!

Arriving at High Wycombe station at 11:00 am I promptly find my chum is running late. What is it with laid back Kiwis? Perhaps the fact he’s just had three and a half weeks in New Zealand may have had something to do with it. Quick get me a job at the oil refinery at Waterloo. I could do with a job like that. A call from him and I find out I have an hour to wait. Oh well! Time to refresh my memory with the pubs and restaurants so that we are suitably fed and watered. This is going to be a tough game and copious amounts of energy is required. After five frantic minutes of searching I realise I’ve left not only the directions, but pubs, restaurants and shuttle bus info at home on the bed. Drat! What sort of a PA am I? The phrase about something not being organised in a brewery comes to mind however, not for long as it was the taxi’s fault for making me rush.

A quick phone call home to youngest son Rory. Anyone who regularly hangs out around the changing rooms will know him. I am told that he can’t possibly recite the whole lot to me as he’s watching something completely unsuitable for children. At 15 ½ he is already learning how quickly one Dizzy mother, without her watering hole directions, can become cross. “Ok mom! But you are going to have to be quick as you are only getting the first couple of lines.” Cheers son! Apparently, the Bombay Palace is left and down from the station and good so will remember that for after the match. I’ve also been given the name of a Witherspoon’s pubby thingie and the Hour Glass. Well that’s a bit more like it. We won’t starve or die of thirst for sure. Rory also tells me the shuttle goes from the railway station. I knew my phone would come in handy.

Whilst waiting for my friend I become very aware I haven’t ‘eye spied’ any other supporters whether it be Wspths or Quins…errr…I did remember something on the message board about Quins supposedly playing the Oirish today.   OMG! Don’t tell me that was ONE rumour that was TRUE. Purlease! Noooooooo! It has to be today as Stu tells me he has the tickets. Speak of the devil! Here comes my partner in crime from the Marylebone train. Enter stage right one great big Koala answers to the name of Stu or Mr Adams, honest, with shades wearing a black and yellow jersey….yup!…he’s a Wspth! Joe Cool eat yer heart out.

“Quick! I need a fry up and a beer” he fumes, “I made a cock up on the tube”. Your words not mine young man. That was the reason I was organising you by sending you the train times. Men! Only back in the UK for a few days and he’s getting withdrawal symptoms already. I’m not arguing with that as he owes me 3 pints in lost bets (rugby orientated of course) and I am looking forward to ‘collecting’.

Aha! What have we here? Finn M’Coul’s! Oooh! They even do an all day breakfast and Stella. We are in heaven. Two very hungry and thirsty opposing supporters dive in. Slightly amused looks from the four Wspths supporters at the bar so we sit in the window and decide to flaunt it. Awarded 5/10. Nothing for lack of atmosphere but 2 ½ marks each for the Stella and breakfast. One hour later two very content puddings alight and make our way on the ‘pub crawl’ which is not Dixie’s walk. For some reason I have visions of a Wspth supporter mincing through the High Street of High Wycombe but then told it’s directions to the ground from the industrial estate car park. Oops!

By now it’s 1:00 pm and we get as far as Flint Cottage opposite the station. Awarded 2/10 as convenient to station. You can see the shuttle buses from the window. By 2:00 pm decision taken that if we don’t move soon we will miss the shuttle. Stu decides Wspths will win by 23. I concede perhaps they may win but by 20 however, if Quins win it will be by 1 or 4. I like to hedge my bets. A sly grin appears across his face but we bet a pint.

Scuttling across the road we jump on the bus to find we are the last two as it’s full. Ooh err! What happened to the forward planning? At home on the bed methinks.

We arrive at the ground, programme £2.50 but not a Quin profile in sight which I give Harlequins 10 out of 10 for as we publish both teams. We find a couple of seats in the Roger Vere stand and promptly excuse ourselves to get to them as they are in the middle. Pick’n’mix more like. A cheeky comment from a home supporter that he hopes I’ve been to the loo. He’s been reading our message board. The said supporter is promptly put into his place by moi by telling him I most certainly have and I won’t be getting up again until half time for the tea break. Aha! Some Quins’ supporters behind us? Tanfastic! How nice not to be the only Quin in a stand of opposing fans and how good to see so many Quins’ supporters at Adams Park. Stu is still at a loss as to why I want a seat behind goal.

Sun comes out, fine drizzle at times, cool with a light breeze and I thank my lucky stars we are not in the stand opposite where it’s standing room only. As a Dizzybird of 5’ 3” Kwin may possibly appreciate why I was glad I had a seat. Looks like a full house too.

Great to see Pat Sanderson back on the bench with his lean, mean, fighting machine look. Also, Ugo Monye, Simon Miall, James Hayter, Chris Bell and nice boy Roy. At long last we get to see these young guns with the big boys. This will either make ‘em or break ‘em and I suspect it will be the former. Sir Jase and Shaggy are resting.

We’re off! Wspths come out fighting to Wagner’s ‘Ride of the Valkyries’…yeah right…only to give away a penalty in the 11th minute and Burkey’s golden boot finds home and away we go. Quins in the lead but for how long? 23 minutes and Dowd scores converted by King. Hmm! What is all the chatter? Wspthies are even chatting while their own convert. Strange! Don’t they want them to win or do they think the final score is a foregone conclusion? Ha! Have we got news for you!

Wspths come close a few times to scoring tries again only for Quins’ defence to keep them down. Bell is sin binned and Monye gets a try. “Hey! Hey! Hey baby! Hoo! Ha!”…we have to sing our own song as only Wspths get the music. Lots of lovely cheers from the supporters in Woodlands and can be heard for miles chanting “Come on you Quiiiiiins”. What with all this “Wspths! Wspths! Wspths!” thing? Some sting!

Half time score: Wspths 10 – Quins 8. Quite a respectable result especially as our opponents are almost top of the ZP and one that should give our boys encouragement for the second half.

Aha! Stu now knows why I sat behind goal. It’s so much quicker to get to the bar. I make it down to the programme seller (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) who is selling beer and lager with just one guy in front. Tap 3 times and ask for IPB…or was it IRB…IPS? Two please! The guy behind wants whatever I’m on. I return and seated before the second half. My partner in crime is amazed. Well! It had to take a Quins’ fan to show a Wspthie how to do it all over Adams Park.

A Kenny Logan try after 44 minutes gave Wspths 18 to Quins 8 but King missed the conversion. Josh Lewsey looked pretty dangerous at times and credit to the Quins as they just kept those Wspthies from running away with the match. A Quins try from Powell converted by Burkey and we stand just two points behind Wspths. Again, Quins do their utmost in keeping Wspths down and before we know it Monye is streaking along. “Go get ‘em Tiger!” Yes! My Wspths friend is looking very much like a Kiwi of the fruit variety and keeps trying to tell me it’s a combination of jet lag, mixing the beer and the fry up. He’s even more green when Burkey converts. At 74 mins a drop goal by Burkey and I’m in seventh heaven. No sooner dropped than Wspths supporters…who are no longer doing it all over Quins…start to leave the ground which I think is a little premature. Had someone made a mistake in those closing moments you can bet Lewsey would have had it and scored. Shame on you Waspthies!

Final score: Waspths 21 – Quins 25…what was that?? I said “ Quins 25” Hee hee! Yet another bet won by one Dizzybird.

Right! A quick march down to the Hour Glass. Finally get served and after a pint decide to catch the bus to town for a curry. Marks out of 10? Yeah! Ok! 10 for atmosphere though no Stella! No bus as it appears we just missed one but hail a cab. Not bad for a fiver and nice guy too. Could’ve ripped us off as we weren’t local so 15 out of 10 to him.

Took a look at the curry house and popped around the corner to peep at the other but hey! What’s this? ‘Eat Thai’…the name of the restaurant by the way. It’s now 6:00 pm…ish and nobody in there. It’s either going to be too posh or food awful. Thankfully it turned out to be neither. The bemused and very efficient staff took care of our every whim and it was nice to give them some entertainment. Dim Sum, Chicken Satay, Weeping Tiger (beef with red chillies and ginger), perhaps Leicester eat there, Duck something or other, a very nice Sauvignon Blanc and raspberry sorbet ice cream. Yes I DID say raspberry sorbet ice cream and it slid down beautifully. Marks out of 10? 10 for quality, 10 for service and most certainly 30 for the sorbet/ice cream. Believe me! I’m an expert! After Stu has re-mortgaged his house to pay the bill we find ourselves back in Finn M’Coul’s which is now quite busy. Can this be the same place whence we started or perhaps we are now looking at the bottom of , yet another, Stella. Quins and Wspths mingle together very amicably.

We chat to a sad Bristol fan whose name neither of us can remember because by this time we were propping up the bar. Or was the bar propping us up? Apparently Finn’s also does a something or other Vimto which is very a potently alcoholic cocktail and retails at £3.70. I believe that blackcurrant is involved. Barbara, please take note. A very nice Wycombe Wanderer’s fan called Karen, or was it Kath, gave us the history on Adams Park which was something to do with a Mr Frank Adams (not Stu’s dad) giving land to the town and ya de da de da ..we can’t remember anything else…apart from the fact she thought we made a nice couple. A couple of what? Best not to go down that road as by this time of night we were likened to a couple of artists which I thought was nice of her…it was also getting on for 11:00 pm and a lot of alcohol had been consumed. After hours of putting the Zurich Premiership to rights; another Wspths fan giving a friendly growl as I made my way to the Ladies; and being made to feel very welcome in High Wycombe by all and sundry with not a bad word spoken or heard, the conclusion was that a good day was had by all…unless you support Wspths!

Ciao!

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